Therapy typically consists
of face to face meetings between the therapist and individual or
family members. The first few sessions will be an assessment
period where the focus will be on looking at the presenting issue
and situation in the context of the individual’s relationships
with others. Treatment will include exploration of alternative
ways to deal with the problems identified and/or to provide a renewed
focus for pursuing your life goals.
How do I know if I need therapy?
This is a very individual
and personal decision to make. Below are some guidelines to
help in considering whether you might find therapy helpful:
- You have trouble making
or keeping satisfying relationships, and you want to understand
the patterns that underlie the difficulty.
- You realize that an emotional
issue has been causing stress for a long time.
- You feel depressed, anxious,
fearful, agitated, or have trouble managing your anger.
- You recognize behavior that seems
self-defeating, out of control, addictive, self-destructive, or
attempt to manage your feeling with food, alcohol or drugs.
- You are frequently distressed
by traumatic memories.
- You have trouble obtaining or
keeping a satisfying job, or your behavior keeps you from advancing
in your career.
- You find that you need more support
than is available in your everyday life.
- You have difficulty separating
your feelings from the feelings of others.
- You want to learn to stand up
for yourself.
- You have questions about your
sexuality or sexual identity.
- You feel challenged as a parent.
- You have difficulty expressing
your feelings, or even knowing what you feel.
When is it time to consider psychotherapy?
1. When a life event is having a strong,
prolonged negative emotional impact that doesn't improve over time….
All of us experience loss and change
that can trigger difficult feelings. The ending of a major relationship,
a financial setback, a serious accident or illness will usually
activate normal responses of fear, sadness, anger or loneliness.
While these feelings may be strong and distressing, they usually
diminish over time. If you find that your negative feelings are
persisting or increasing or that they are having an increasingly
negative impact on the quality of your life, it may be useful to
sort out the experience with a therapist. A therapist can help you
see memories or meanings associated with the event and help you
move through complex feeling responses.
2. When you notice yourself repeating negative patterns
with work, family, friends or personal pursuits….
Do you chronically get into power
struggles with your bosses or repeatedly end up with romantic partners
who betray or undermine you? Do you have patterns of under achievement
in areas of interest or find yourself unable to break out of old
family roles and expectations? If, despite repeated attempts to
think about and change distressing patterns you find yourself still
repeating them, it may be time to discuss them with a therapist.
3. When your work and/or personal life is negatively impacted
by your moods or feeling states….
Do you "blow up" or lose
your temper to the extent that it threatens important projects or
relationships? Are you often so "low" that you're unable
to motivate yourself to act in your own behalf? Does pervasive anxiety
keep you from engaging in activities that would be pleasurable or
profitable? Problems with mood have many components: they may be
a learned response to unmanageable childhood situations, a reaction
to recent trauma or a physiological tendency influenced by brain/body
chemistry. A trained therapist can help you discern the sources
of negative mood and explore various approaches to managing your
feeling states and feeling better.
4. When you suffer from poor self esteem….
For many people, the hardest part
of life is consistently feeling bad about themselves. They walk
around feeling inadequate, defeated and ashamed or "like a
fraud," just on the verge of being discovered. They are their
own worst enemies, harshly judging themselves, comparing themselves
to others or berating themselves for past losses or failures. Psychotherapy
has been demonstrated to help people free themselves from chronic
self-criticism and attack. Through the trusting relationship with
a therapist, many people learn to challenge and change their negative
assumptions about themselves and develop a more positive and realistic
sense of self.
5. When habits or substances negatively impact your life….
Is your drinking interfering with
your ability to do your job? Are your credit card bills mounting
because you can't stop yourself from buying unnecessary "necessities?"
Is your partner complaining that they never see you due to overwork?
Does it feel you spend all or much of the day thinking about food,
eating, weight, gambling or sex? When habits or substances make
you feel out of control, it can be time to seek professional help.
Psychotherapy can compliment specific recovery programs or can be
useful as the primary means of exploring and changing the ways we
use behaviors and substances to soothe, regulate or maintain a sense
of self.
6. When you are moving through an important life transition….
Have you recently become married
or divorced? Have you moved to a new city or completed a major career
change? Are you a new parent or a new "empty nester?"
Have you recently undergone a major surgery, medical procedure or
just found out you have a major illness? Significant life changes
challenge our old identities and calls into question assumed roles,
rules, responsibilities and relationships. Psychotherapy can be
one way to take stock of our lives and to clarify what we want during
these new phases of our development.
7. When life has ceased feeling meaningful, joyous or purposeful….
Does your life feel dry, flat or
routine? Do you find more often than not that you're simply going
through the motions, doing the daily tasks that must be done with
little pleasure, satisfaction or delight? Have you lost touch with
the hopes and dreams that used to motivate and inspire you? These
states of spiritual and psychological aridity can signal the need
to take a deeper look at ourselves and reevaluate our commitments
and priorities. The responsiveness of a therapist can help us acknowledge
the deep urgings and longings of our truer selves. Therapy can be
a place where we chart a new course for our lives.
8. When an important relationship is in trouble….
Close, intimate relationships are
the places where we learn the most about ourselves. They have the
ability to bring out the very best and worst in us and our partners.
If your relationship with your spouse, partner, child or family
is a repeated source of pain, consider consulting a therapist. Often
an objective third party trained in relationship dynamics can point
out problematic patterns in communication, habits of criticism,
attack, defensiveness or withdrawal and help a couple reconnect
with what they value in each other.
9. When others express concern for you….
Have family, friends or co-workers
mentioned that they're worried or concerned about you? Have you
received feedback that you don't seem yourself lately or that your
behavior is alarming to those who care about you? It sometimes takes
great courage for the people who love us to let us know that something
seems wrong. This can serve as a wake-up call. If others have commented
or asked about your well-being, therapy may provide a safe place
to take a fuller look at yourself and the challenges you're currently
facing.
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What
is Psychotherapy?